


Who on earth would willingly eat sour cream and onion Cheeto puffs

by orphan_account



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Accidental Kissing, Alternate Universe - Human, Cuddling & Snuggling, Don’t tell me Lapis wouldn’t enjoy BoJack Horseman, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluffy Ending, Lapis is a starving artist, Light Angst, Nerd Peridot (Steven Universe), POV Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), Past Jasper/Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe) - Freeform, Peridot is a cornershop cashier, Pumpkin is Peridots dog, lapidot - Freeform, they are both hopelessly gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-26 14:35:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18181868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: God she’s cute. Lapis thought to herself.  The cashier was wearing a green “I believe” t shirt with a DIY holographic alien stitched over a shirt pocket filled with colored pencils. She had a golden dangling earring in her right ear and two plastic studs in the right. Her bright green eyes and bleached blond hair were  a sharp contrast with her toffee colored skin. When Lapis met her eyes she couldn’t help but notice the kick ass smattering of freckles on her nose. There was no alternative. She had to get this woman’s phone number.Or: Lapis and Peridot meet each other at a struggling cornershop in southern Florida and are so busy flirting with each other they have to be told off by Peri’s manager.





	Who on earth would willingly eat sour cream and onion Cheeto puffs

**Author's Note:**

> Funnily enough this is the second work I’ve posted today that has a title about food.

When Lapis Lazuli opens the door to the corner shop the cold air hits her like a semi truck. She’d only walked a couple of blocks from her apartment and she already felt like she was going to pass out.  The oversized thermometer mounted to the front wall calmly informs her that it’s 91 degrees. It is going to be a really long day.

  
  


Lapis paces her way through the aisles mindlessly humming along to the Queen song playing over the shops speakers. She picked up the essentials (toilet paper some microwaveable meals and a touristy brochure on things to do in town) before making her way towards the line up front. She passes a Cheeto display on the way up something advertising a disgusting new sour cream and onion flavor. She wonders absentmindedly if Jasper would have liked it.

  
  


She pulls out her phone and checks her messages. Three texts and a voicemail from her best friend Pearl and another obligatory Instagram DM from Jasper. It would go unanswered just like the last 56 her ex girlfriend had sent since she’d blocked her number on iMessage. You’d think after three months she’d have stopped trying.

  
  


She smiles while she reads the stuff from Pearl. Even if her best friends messages are a little on the over anxious side it was nice to know someone cared. Lapis popped in her earbuds to listen to the voicemail, another reminder about coming home for their friends Ruby and Sapphires wedding next month. She is typing out a barebones response to Pearl’s three thousand questions about her new apartment and job when a white guy with nasty looking dreads in the line behind her reminds her it’s her turn in line with a subtle ass tap. _Real classy._ She didn’t think this was what Pearl meant when she had gushed about Floridian hospitality.

  
  
  


“Don’t fucking touch me.” She snapped.

  
  


“Get your head out of your ass when you’re in line then lady!” He replied. She flipped him the bird and walked to the register where a wide eyed cashier had been watching the exchange.

  
  


God she’s cute. Lapis thought to herself.  The cashier was wearing a green “I believe” t shirt with a DIY holographic alien stitched over a shirt pocket filled with colored pencils She had a golden dangling earring in her right ear and two plastic studs in the right. Her bright green eyes and bleached blond hair were  a sharp contrast with her toffee colored skin. When Lapis met her eyes she couldn’t help but notice the kick ass smattering of freckles on her nose. There was no alternative. She had to have this woman’s phone number.

  
  


“Dang!” She grinned showing off rainbow colored braces that seemed to blend perfectly with the rest of her aesthetic. “Feel like I should give you a hug after that. He’s a frequent shopper.” She rolls her eyes. “But the management really needs to stop turning a blind eye to that kind of shit.” She finishes pointing to the register over where he’s leaning over the table and flirting with a clearly uncomfortable redhead.

  
  


“Sucks that you have to deal with that.”

  
  


The cashier laughs. “Not really me that has to deal with it.  Don’t think I’m really his type.” She giggles again and the motion makes the collection of bell bracelets on her arms jingle.

  
  


Lapis hands over her purchases and the cashier punches something into the computer and scans the items. While she’s distracted Lapis takes a look at her name tag. It’s a bit hard to see in the flickering fluorescent lights but she gets a good look eventually.

  
  


“My name’s Peri.” The cashier tells her. “Short for Peridot but it seemed easier.” She offers. “Parents were a little bit of hippy rock freaks.”

  
  


“Mine too!” Lapis laughs

  
  


“Your named Peridot as well?” The cashier almost shouted sounding overjoyed.

  
  
  


“No my parents were also a couple of...how’d you put it? Rock freaks. It’s Lapis, short for Lapis Lazuli.”

  
  


“Well isn’t that a cool coincidence.” Peri hands her back her stuff neatly tucked into a paper bag.

  
  


“Yeah it kinda is.” Lapis replies handing over her credit card after the total flashes across the screen.

  
  


“Dude do you want some aloe?” Peri offers. “It really helps with burns.”

  
  


“Oh my god is it really that bad!” Lapis is mortified. Her pasty white skin was used to summer's up north. Florida was scorching even in late May.

  
  


“I work here in mid summer. What do you think?” Peri asked her teasingly. “But seriously take the aloe vera.” Peri ducked beneath the counter and popped up with a travel size tube pressing it into Lapis’ hand.

  
  


“You have a stack of these under the counter?” Lapis snorts.

  
  


“Yep!” Peri confirmed. “Pay for them out of my own pocket. Too many of y’all tourists don’t know what sunscreen is.”

  
  


“I’m not a tourist.” Lapis objects.

  
  


“With skin that pale you’re certainly not a local!” Peri teases.

  
  


“I moved here last weekend. I was at the beach all day yesterday. My poor Seattle born skin isn’t used to the heat. I hugely underestimated the amount of sunscreen I needed.”

  
  


“Clearly.”

  
  


“Hey Peri! Stop flirting with the customers and get the line moving or I’ll have you scrubbing toilets during the lunch break!” A tiny woman with a fluffy blonde bob shouts from entrance to the stockroom.

  
  


“Right on it!” Peri yells and then turns to Lapis.

  
  
  


“It’s a small town. Hope I’ll see you around.” She winks and Lapis waves before walking to the door. She’s not even outside before she feels all hot and woozy.

  
  


Her job at the abstract art gallery the town over isn’t the most active. All she has to do is pace the exhibits and make sure the aforementioned tourists and their children don’t get handsy. Before today she’d spent a fair bit of time chatting up the visitors or browsing the exhibits herself but today all she can think about is the next time she’ll see Peri.

  
  


She has a brief scare with a stop and start of her car engine on the ride home but thankfully gets back to her apartment in one piece. After that it’s time for her Thai chicken microwave dinner for one and a couple of episodes of BoJack Horseman on the Netflix account she stole from her next door neighbor.

  
  


Later she goes into the en-suite and looks in the mirror. It’s barely been 24 hours and she can feel the skin on her cheeks starting to peel. Lapis reaches into her jean skirt  pocket and pulls out Peri’s aloe. It burns at first but soon it’s cooling down her face and she’s slathering it all over her neck and shoulders. She ends the night in the shower with a bottle of blue hair dye. There’s a little bit of black creeping up in her roots and she’s been meaning to fix it up a little.

  
  


She waits a week before going to the corner store again, not wanting to seem too stalkerish. Her heart catches when she gets in line for the register with the sour cream and onion Cheeto puffs, of all things, in her hands. It felt a little too awkward to go up empty handed. There’s no Peri at the register. The redhead from last time checks her out eyeing her choice of Cheeto puffs like she’s lost her faith in humanity.

  
  


When she gets home that night she pours herself a bowl of the puffs and brings them along on her couch side Netflix binge. She gives the first puff a cursory sniff and takes a bite. Her instincts had not failed her. They were disgusting.

  
  


Her phone buzzes. Another message from Jasper. She briefly considers sending a pic of the bag of puffs to Jasper and asking if she’s tried them yet but it’s Lapis fault they haven’t talked in months and a question about snack food seems like the wrong way to break the silence. She mutes her Instagram notifications instead.

  
  


The next day it finally happens. She’s been putting off taking her car to get fixed because she’s new to the area. She’d had no idea what auto shops were fair bargains and what were complete rip offs. Unfortunately she’d been living here almost a month and she still doesn’t. When her engine just completely gives out in the small back road between the town her apartment is in and the art gallery’s all she wants to do is call Pearl and cry.

  
  


But she forces herself to climb out of the vehicle and roll it the rest of the way off the road. She climbs around the front and pops the hood, already sweating grimacing at the smoke she discovers when she does. Lapis Lazuli knows jack shit about cars. She’s lucky that she was on her way home and won’t have to miss work over her stupid mistake. But it’s getting dark soon and the news article Pearl had forwarded to her about new panther sightings doesn’t make her very keen about staying on the side of the road past dark.

  
  


She stands by the side of the road with her thumb out hoping she can get someone to stop to give her a ride. She’ll just have to lock the car and get it towed in the morning. 30 minutes later and not a single car has stopped. Lapis wonders if the urban legends about murderous hitch hikers really are paying off.. By the time someone does she’s crouched in the weeds picking at her shoelace and wishing she’d brought sunglasses.

  
  


The car that stops is so loud and paint chipped Lapis wonders if it’s danger of breaking down itself. She frowns crossing her fingers that the driver isn’t some greasy neckbeard when she sees the back is plastered with fandom bumper stickers. Her face splits into a grin when Peri gets out the side door. Jumps might be a more accurate word for how the tiny cashier swings her legs over the side and pushes off the side. Lapis can’t help laughing thinking about how she could possibly ready the pedals. Peri can’t be more than 5’1.

  
  


Her outfit choice is just as wonderfully kitschy as what she wore the first time they met at the cornershop. Currently Peri is sporting a neon green chiffon mini dress dress with chunky yellow strap up heels. Her hair is twisted into two space buns and there’s plastic butterfly clips absolutely everywhere.

  
  


“We meet again!” She says bouncing her way to where Lapis is sitting.

  
  


“You _drive_ that thing!” Lapis teases. “Do you have a car seat and special tools to reach the pedals.

  
  


“Shut up Lazuli!” Peri pouts but Lapis can tell she’s only kidding. “I thought I was dreaming when I saw you sitting there. First first degree burns and then car trouble? Classic tourist territory.”

  
  


“Still not a tourist.” Lapis smiles as they walk to Peri’s truck.

  
  


“I don’t live that far. If it’s not too much trouble it would be great if you could drive me home. My phones dead but I can call a tow truck from there.” Peri turns the key and the engine roars to life. Lapis buckles her fragile looking seatbelt.

  
  


“Actually I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my place. I really clicked with you at the cornershop and since you’re new I figured you might want a friend.” Peridot says “I was going to ask you when you came into the cornershop but I haven’t seen you there. Think I found you on Instagram but you haven’t accepted yet.”

  
  


“Oh shoot really! I had my notifications off.” Lapis explains. “And yeah! I can borrow a charger and call from your place.”

  
  


“Popular girl!” Peri teases.

  
  


“Just with my ex girlfriend.” Lapis replies. With the mention of an ex- _girlfriend_ Lapis thinks she sees a flash of excitement in Peridot’s eye. She can’t be sure though. They pull up to Peri’s place a couple of minutes later. Lapis is pleased to see it’s the housing development only a few streets over from her apartment.

  
  


“I live so close we’re practically neighbors!” Lapis tells her.

  
  


“Holy crap seriously! Must be fate!” Peri replies after she’s parked the car. Peri’s house is quirky and adorable. Just like it’s owner. Lapis takes time to admire the blue tulips in the very well kept flower beds as she walks with Peri to the soft yellow front door. Lapis steps inside and is immediately mobbed by an extremely angry overactive orange fluff ball.

  
  


“Pumpkin! Down! Bad girl! _Bad_ girl!” Peri shrieks and the dog lays down panting. “I’m sooo sorry Lapis.”

  
  


“Totally fine! My best friends son Steven has a labradoodle. Lion is a lot bigger and a shit ton more protective.” Lapis explains giving the Pomeranian a cautious pet. The dog yaps happily, all traces of aggression calmed by Peri’s tirade.

 

Peri lets her call a family friend that runs a tow company that promises to do the job for free. In exchange Lapis stays for dinner and a movie. It’s really not much of an exchange at all. Lapis would have payed _Peri_ for a little bit of time to get to know her.

  
  


They end up watching a made for TV movie called “Camp Pining Hearts” Lapis has never seen it and honestly thought it was obnoxiously campy when Hallmark had promoted during its original run. It’s Peri’s favorite movie and she promises it’s hilarious. Lapis is glad she listens. The acting is so over the top for the relatively undramatic storyline that it has both of them in stitches for the entire run time.

  
  


There’s a particular love confession about 20 minutes (something about the way the lead actor flares his nostrils)  that makes Lapis laugh so hard she falls on Peridots shoulder. They stay that way for the rest of the movie snuggled up under the fluffy blanket Peri grabbed for them.

  
  


After the credits roll Peri puts on jeopardy. It reminds her of the autumn nights she’d drive over to Pearls house. Steven would bake them all sugar cookies and they’d watch jeopardy reruns. Peridot shouts the answers even louder than Steven’s dad Greg used to (the other difference being that Peridot is actually correct) and blushes when she catches Lapis staring.

  
  


“You’re such a nerd Peri!” Lapis tells her playfully shoving her shoulder. “It’s cute.” After they finish Peri offers to drive her home and Lapis accepts. It’s only when they’re walking up the stairs to Peri’s apartment that she starts asking questions.

  
  


“What brings you to Florida!” She asks still on some sort of sugar high from the bag of gummy bears they’d shared during Camp Pining Hearts.

  
  


“I needed a fresh start.” Lapis tells her flatly.

Peridots face falls and her nose scrunches up in concern.

  
  


“From what..” she starts curiously. “Wait. I don’t want to push you. You don’t have to tell me unless you want to.”

  
  


“It’s alright. I don’t have a dark mysterious past I need to hide. I was just in a little bit of a rut. Needed to start my own thing. I had an on and off with this girl from high school. Her name was Jasper. She’s great but..we’ve always been kind of bad for each other. It was so nice when we were just friends but I always kept going back. I really needed some distance. Get out and meet some new people. Plus I’m trying to get started as an artist.”

  
  


“Me too! I do metal sculptures mostly. Peridot cuts in.

  
  


“Yeah. I’m working at a studio a couple miles from here. You should come check it out sometime.”

  
  


“Totally! Here send me the address.” Peri asks holding up her phone expectantly.

  
  


“Phones still dead. Nice way to get my number though.” Lapis says taking Peris phone and punching her number in.  Then they’re at the door marked Lazuli and Peri is nervously bouncing back and forth on the balls of her feet.

  
  


“”Listen Lapis. That thing about your ex really sucks. But I’m really glad you’re here and I’m even happier I got to meet you. I just wanted to say thanks for tonight and I hope we can meet up again soon.” She confesses.

  
  


“I’d love that Peri!” Lapis replies and the smaller woman lets out a sigh of relief. Lapis leans in for a bit and Peri leans in to kiss her cheek and their lips accidentally touch. Peri jumps back like she’s been electrocuted.

  
  


“Oh my god I’m so sorry!” She says

  
  


“No! Please don’t be!” Lapis reassures her opening her arms. Peridot goes for the hug this time. “I’ll see you soon.” She promises into Peris hair.

  
  


“Goodnight Lazuli!” Peri tells her as she closes the door.

  
  


Lapis dances around her apartment touching her still buzzing lips. Later, curled up in bed, she accepts Peridots follow request and scrolls through her posts about local coffee shops and fan conventions and cute as hell makeup looks. She goes to sleep still smiling. She may have had some bumps along the way but the move was definitely what she needed. Her fresh start is going great already

**Author's Note:**

> (In this AU Rose was with Pearl AND Greg and when she died Pearl and Greg decided to co-parent Steven. They aren’t together though lol) 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyways! Feedback and constructive criticism is always very much appreciated! :))


End file.
